JJGOLD Please Tell Us Some Old War Stories

[BigJay]

Yeah he said all the workers watched as he was eating it laughing their ass off.

Jimmy asked him if it was good and the dude said delicious!

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Saw my old buddy Jimmy last night. Reminded me of this old story.

This is a true story. An old time South Philly story I thought about when I saw him last night.

So me and Jimmy go back to when we were just kids. Knew him all.my life. Went to school together.

So this is around the time when we were 16 years old.

Jimmy gets his first job at a pretty famous South Philly pizzeria.

They start him washing dishes, he moves up to waiter in no time, he always was a hard worker.

So we're all out drinking one night, by that I mean myself and all of our friends.

So Jimmy gets done work his first night as a waiter and he meets up with all us who were drinking at our secret spot no one but us knew about. Saturday night.

So I see him and say how'd work go? He says crazy. This old jewish guy showed up and drive me nuts. Really broke my balls the entire time.

I say yeah? What happened? You piss him off? He says no but the other waiters told me he shows up same time every Saturday night so he spends money and so they all put up with it.

This goes on for 5 weeks in a row. Every Saturday night.

Finally Jimmy has enough. He says he's gonna do something to get this fukkin guy back this upcoming Saturday night.

Saturday comes and goes and finally Jimmy shows up after work. Big smile on his face and he sees me and starts laughing.

So I say what happened with the jerkoff? Did you get him?

He says yeah I got him. I say what did you do?

He said he waited until the fukk ordered dessert. He always orders a cannoli after dinner.

He says the Mexican kid he worked with, grabbed the filling holder and ran downstairs with Jimmy and said here you go get him now.

Jimmy took one look, grabbed the filling holder, goes into the bathroom.

He then proceeded to jerk off and cum into the cannoli filling and filled the cannoli with it.

I said GET THE FUKK OUT DID YOU REALLY?!

He says you know it.

This is why you never fukk with your waiter.

I’ve seen this movie.

 

[phillyflyers]

So was in my old neighborhood today and put me in a reminiscing mood.

I get like this sometimes, I can't explain it. Anyway this a real true South Philly war story. I was reminded of it today when I was standing in the spot it broke out on and I remembered it.

We have the Mummers in South Philly and in my old neighborhood we have the Mummers clubhouses where the members meet.

These clubhouses are often rented out for people who want to throw a party or event.

Which brings me back to a cold November night back in 1990s.....

There was a Mummers outfit called Shooting Stars. They had their clubhouse in my old neighborhood. Almost all of the members there were/are my friends.

Anyway they rented out their clubhouse one Friday night to a group from Mayfair which is in another entirely different section of Philly.

Now, Philly back then was highly segregated and you could cut the racial tension with a butterknife. It's just the way it was .

Mayfair was considered one of the dirtball sections of the city, so you can bet when they rolled up, we had our eyes on them.

They arrive shortly before the party was supposed to start. We're across the street staring at them, they're staring right back.

The party begins and everything was going great....until one of my friend's girlfriend forgot something in the clubhouse and had to go in and get it before it got stolen.

So she goes in, and some guy makes a smart ass comment to her for no reason.

She comes out and tells us. Basically, that was all it took in those days to light the fuse.

My friend goes in to confront the dude along with me a a couple other of us.

My friend asked the dude what was the problem? Dude said something along the lines of this is rented for the evening to only invited guests your girl can't be in here.

To which my boy said she's a member of this club this is her clubhouse not yours. Well, dude shoved my friend and that was it.

My friend punched dude square in the face and drops his ass. Next thing you know, we're swinging.

I dropped the dude nearest next to me and next thing I know it spills out into the street.

How many of you were ever involved in a street fight that had more than 200 people in it?

It was a melee.

Two dudes rush me i drop the one dude quick and the other goes to grab me and the next thing I know a bottle.got broken over his head.

I go to square up with another dude, and next thing I know one of them grabs my best friend and puts a knife to his throat and turns to me and says back the fukk off or I'll slice him.

To which I replied you slice him and I'll kill you.

Dude started slowly backing up with the knife still to my buddy's throat. He back up next to a parked car gets in front of it, slings the knife at me which missed completely throws my buddy towards me and takes off running.

Naturally I go after him. I catch up to him and wind up throwing him.l through a wooden gated alleyway.

Now dude is on the ground.

I walk up slow and lay a boot to his head.

I start talking to him while I'm beating him.

You want to put a knife to people's throats? I lay a other boot to his head. I hear him let out a moan.

This is what you get boy. Lay a boot to his chest.

Fun's just starting buddy.

Grab him by the collar lift him up so now he's half upright.

Straight right to his head he goes down with a thud.

My buddy then grabs me as I'm in the middle of throwing another punch and tells.me.we got to get the fukk out of here.

I say not before I take something. He looks at me confused. I say watch.

I reach down grab the dude's ear and rip it off. He's got 1/4 of an ear now.

Now we can go.

We get back up to the scene of the brawl it's mayhem and the cops are just starting to arrive.

We scatter.

We don't return to the neighborhood for hours after. Early morning hours.

In the aftermath, we found out we basically crushed them. Only one of my dude's got hurt and they got blasted.

Mayfair never came into our neighborhood again.

 

[BMR Genie]

So was in my old neighborhood today and put me in a reminiscing mood.

I get like this sometimes, I can't explain it. Anyway this a real true South Philly war story. I was reminded of it today when I was standing in the spot it broke out on and I remembered it.

We have the Mummers in South Philly and in my old neighborhood we have the Mummers clubhouses where the members meet.

These clubhouses are often rented out for people who want to throw a party or event.

Which brings me back to a cold November night back in 1990s.....

There was a Mummers outfit called Shooting Stars. They had their clubhouse in my old neighborhood. Almost all of the members there were/are my friends.

Anyway they rented out their clubhouse one Friday night to a group from Mayfair which is in another entirely different section of Philly.

Now, Philly back then was highly segregated and you could cut the racial tension with a butterknife. It's just the way it was .

Mayfair was considered one of the dirtball sections of the city, so you can bet when they rolled up, we had our eyes on them.

They arrive shortly before the party was supposed to start. We're across the street staring at them, they're staring right back.

The party begins and everything was going great....until one of my friend's girlfriend forgot something in the clubhouse and had to go in and get it before it got stolen.

So she goes in, and some guy makes a smart ass comment to her for no reason.

She comes out and tells us. Basically, that was all it took in those days to light the fuse.

My friend goes in to confront the dude along with me a a couple other of us.

My friend asked the dude what was the problem? Dude said something along the lines of this is rented for the evening to only invited guests your girl can't be in here.

To which my boy said she's a member of this club this is her clubhouse not yours. Well, dude shoved my friend and that was it.

My friend punched dude square in the face and drops his ass. Next thing you know, we're swinging.

I dropped the dude nearest next to me and next thing I know it spills out into the street.

How many of you were ever involved in a street fight that had more than 200 people in it?

It was a melee.

Two dudes rush me i drop the one dude quick and the other goes to grab me and the next thing I know a bottle.got broken over his head.

I go to square up with another dude, and next thing I know one of them grabs my best friend and puts a knife to his throat and turns to me and says back the fukk off or I'll slice him.

To which I replied you slice him and I'll kill you.

Dude started slowly backing up with the knife still to my buddy's throat. He back up next to a parked car gets in front of it, slings the knife at me which missed completely throws my buddy towards me and takes off running.

Naturally I go after him. I catch up to him and wind up throwing him.l through a wooden gated alleyway.

Now dude is on the ground.

I walk up slow and lay a boot to his head.

I start talking to him while I'm beating him.

You want to put a knife to people's throats? I lay a other boot to his head. I hear him let out a moan.

This is what you get boy. Lay a boot to his chest.

Fun's just starting buddy.

Grab him by the collar lift him up so now he's half upright.

Straight right to his head he goes down with a thud.

My buddy then grabs me as I'm in the middle of throwing another punch and tells.me.we got to get the fukk out of here.

I say not before I take something. He looks at me confused. I say watch.

I reach down grab the dude's ear and rip it off. He's got 1/4 of an ear now.

Now we can go.

We get back up to the scene of the brawl it's mayhem and the cops are just starting to arrive.

We scatter.

We don't return to the neighborhood for hours after. Early morning hours.

In the aftermath, we found out we basically crushed them. Only one of my dude's got hurt and they got blasted.

Mayfair never came into our neighborhood again.

I bet this is not your 1st or last brawl, right? haha

Imagine if one of them or one of your friends had a gun.. a total disaster if ever.

 

[phillyflyers]

I bet this is not your 1st or last brawl, right? haha

Imagine if one of them or one of your friends had a gun.. a total disaster if ever.

Yeah well when you're in that situation you really don't think about that.

My father took me and started me boxing from when I was 8 years old so no not my first fight rofl

I don't really get into fights anymore, Genie. First of all, everyone knows me. Second, the friends I have now are my friends since I was 2 years old. We all grew up together. We love each other. Like a brotherhood.

 

[phillyflyers]

Time for another legendary true story from annals of South Philly...

I have a friend named Sammy. Sammy is a painter by trade.

He also happens to be one of the most craziest mother fukkers in the history of life but also a really great guy. If you met him, you would say he's a sweetheart.

Sammy is addicted to hookers and cocaine. This is only one of his stories....

One Saturday Sammy goes out pulling an all nighter at the bar. So now he's high and feeling good and in the mood for a hooker.

Bar closes at 2 am. Well, now it's around 6 am and Sammy decides he needs to get laid. Bad.

So he drives around the streets looking for hookers. He eventually finds one after driving around for about 40 minutes.

Now, Sammy drives a pickup truck and he can't find a parking spot.

So now he's in his truck with this hooker looking for a spot to park. It takes him 30 minutes to find the only spot available.

So Sammy parks and gets down to business.

He's got the hooker in the back and he starts plowing her.

He says he must have lost track of time because the next thing Sammy knows, the sun is up and he hears someone say "DEAR GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING?!"

Sammy looks up from plowing this hooker in the back of his truck and two nuns are staring at him through the windows!

Sammy then realizes that he parked in front of a Church and that it was now time for Sunday Morning Mass and the nuns saw his truck moving up and down in front of the Church!

True shit.

 

[BobbyFK]

Genie, that's when JJ started in the "oldest profession".

As long as the socks are on it's okay right?