So this morning I went to planet fitness to lay in the massage chair and then the hydro massage bed.
I'm on my short drive home, all jellied and relaxed, windows down, cruising slow through the neighborhood when I see this group of kids, about a half dozen, on the right sidewalk and front yard up ahead.
As I drive by a little kid steps out and blasts me with a toy gun that made popping sounds and lit up red and blue.
So I come home, load up the squirt gun, and recruit my wife for a drive by. We go around the block so we can come up on them with me in the passenger side, locked and loaded. Sure enough, they see us coming and get ready for their ambush.
As we slowly drive by that same little kid pops out with the gun and, just before he fires, my wife hits the breaks and I lean out the window with the squirt gun. Their gunman paused, unsure about what's happening, when I started to fire away.
I hit every one of those fukkers with the water gun before they scattered and even the bigger kid who hid behind the tree. When he poked his head out I nailed him in the face.
Then I yelled "Go! Go! Go!" and my wife floored it.
Three ladies walking up towards us from the front were just 2 feet away from collateral damage and were surprised at first but when they saw and heard me yell "Go!" three times they started busting up.
I looked back and the smallest kid was chasing after us.
At first, the kids were like...
Then, they were like...