Tell me a joke

[BMR Genie]

"Q: Daddy, why are all those cars beeping their horns?

A: Because there's a wedding going happening.

Q: Don't we been the horn a warning signal, Daddy?

A: Exactly, son. "

I bump another meme related to this joke haha

 

[edawg]

What did one eyeball say to the other eyeball? "Just between you and me something smells."

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

What did one eyeball say to the other eyeball? "Just between you and me something smells."

Lol. That’s the same thing, butt cheeks say to each other..

 

[edawg]

Lol. That’s the same thing, butt cheeks say to each other..

They are probably talking about some a$$hole who is always talking $hit behind their backs.

 

[ladonque]

a little black boy sees his mammy whippin' up some home made pancakes one Saturday morning, and while she's doin' it, he approaches the counter, pats his hands in the flour, and then pats his flour covered hands all over his face, turning himself white. He looks at his Mammy and says, "Look Mammy! I'm white!!!!"

Mammy immediately slaps the shit out of the boy,, and yells at him, "You're black!!! And goddammit, you better be proud of it!!!!"

At that point, the little black boy's father, hearing the ruckus inside the house, leaves his porch stoop and heads inside, finding the boy and his Mammy in the kitchen. "What the fuk is goin' on in here?," he yells. The boy, still proud of his new-found identity, and thinkin' his father will see things a bit differently, eagerly proclaims to his father, "Look daddy, I'm white!!!!"

The boy's daddy immediately slaps the shit out of the boy, and yells at him, "goddammit boy, you're black, and you better be proud of it!!! Don't ever let me hear you say that shit again!!!!" The little boy skulks away to his room. About five minutes later, with the pancakes done, his Mammy calls him back to the kitchen table for breakfast, and the little black boy, sad look on his face, comes into the kitchen, face still mostly covered in flour, and a few tear streaks running down his face. His Mammy, seeing his the sad look on his face as he sits down, asks him "What's wrong, baby?"

The little black boy looks at his parents and says, "I've only been white for ten minutes, and I already hate you ni**gers!!!"

 

[BMR Genie]

They are probably talking about some a$$hole who is always talking $hit behind their backs.

Hahaha, good one Edawg!

 

[BMR Genie]

a little black boy sees his mammy whippin' up some home made pancakes one Saturday morning, and while she's doin' it, he approaches the counter, pats his hands in the flour, and then pats his flour covered hands all over his face, turning himself white. He looks at his Mammy and says, "Look Mammy! I'm white!!!!"

Mammy immediately slaps the shit out of the boy,, and yells at him, "You're black!!! And goddammit, you better be proud of it!!!!"

At that point, the little black boy's father, hearing the ruckus inside the house, leaves his porch stoop and heads inside, finding the boy and his Mammy in the kitchen. "What the fuk is goin' on in here?," he yells. The boy, still proud of his new-found identity, and thinkin' his father will see things a bit differently, eagerly proclaims to his father, "Look daddy, I'm white!!!!"

The boy's daddy immediately slaps the shit out of the boy, and yells at him, "goddammit boy, you're black, and you better be proud of it!!! Don't ever let me hear you say that shit again!!!!" The little boy skulks away to his room. About five minutes later, with the pancakes done, his Mammy calls him back to the kitchen table for breakfast, and the little black boy, sad look on his face, comes into the kitchen, face still mostly covered in flour, and a few tear streaks running down his face. His Mammy, seeing his the sad look on his face as he sits down, asks him "What's wrong, baby?"

The little black boy looks at his parents and says, "I've only been white for ten minutes, and I already hate you ni**gers!!!"

 

[kostasmalina]

Putin sends a health inspector to check on his troops in Ukraine. The inspector asks a top general:

- How do you prepare drinking water?
- First, we filter it. Then we boil it.
- And after that?
- Well... just to be cautious, we just drink vodka.

 

[BMR Genie]

"Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?

Farmer: which one, black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: 2 litres per day.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: 2 litres per day.

Interviewer : Where do they sleep?

Farmer: The Black one or the White one?

Interviewer: The black one

Farmer : In the Barn

Interviewer: And the White one?

Farmer: In the Barn also

Interviewer: Your cows look healthy... What do you feed them?

Farmer: which one..black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: (Annoyed) but why do you keep on asking if black one or white one when answers
are just the same??

Farmer: Because the black one is mine.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: Its also mine."

 

[Tanko]

Two couples were playing cards.
Dave accidentally drops some cards and reaches under the table to pick them up.
While under the table he notices Tom's wife, Karen isn't wearing any panties under her dress.

Dave goes to the kitchen to get some drinks and Karen follows him and asks, "Did you like what you saw under the table."
Dave says, "Yes."
Karen says, "You can have it for $500"
Dave says, "OK".
Karen says, "Tom golfs on Fridays at 2:00. Come over then".

Dave shows up and does the deed and pays the $500.

That evening Tom comes home and asks Karen, "Did Dave stop by today".
Karen is shocked and figures she's busted. She says, "Yes".
Tom asks, "Did he give you $500?".
Karen drops her head and says, "Um, Yes".

Tom, smiles and says "Great. He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $500 and said he'd stop by our house on his way home this afternoon and pay me back."

 

[kostasmalina]

Two couples were playing cards.
Dave accidentally drops some cards and reaches under the table to pick them up.
While under the table he notices Tom's wife, Karen isn't wearing any panties under her dress.

Dave goes to the kitchen to get some drinks and Karen follows him and asks, "Did you like what you saw under the table."
Dave says, "Yes."
Karen says, "You can have it for $500"
Dave says, "OK".
Karen says, "Tom golfs on Fridays at 2:00. Come over then".

Dave shows up and does the deed and pays the $500.

That evening Tom comes home and asks Karen, "Did Dave stop by today".
Karen is shocked and figures she's busted. She says, "Yes".
Tom asks, "Did he give you $500?".
Karen drops her head and says, "Um, Yes".

Tom, smiles and says "Great. He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $500 and said he'd stop by our house on his way home this afternoon and pay me back."

that feeling when you get f.... for free and feel happy because it could have been much worse

 

[alittleboy]

What does Warren Buffet make when he goes to the bathroom? Philanthropee.

 

[BMR Genie]

Two couples were playing cards.
Dave accidentally drops some cards and reaches under the table to pick them up.
While under the table he notices Tom's wife, Karen isn't wearing any panties under her dress.

Dave goes to the kitchen to get some drinks and Karen follows him and asks, "Did you like what you saw under the table."
Dave says, "Yes."
Karen says, "You can have it for $500"
Dave says, "OK".
Karen says, "Tom golfs on Fridays at 2:00. Come over then".

Dave shows up and does the deed and pays the $500.

That evening Tom comes home and asks Karen, "Did Dave stop by today".
Karen is shocked and figures she's busted. She says, "Yes".
Tom asks, "Did he give you $500?".
Karen drops her head and says, "Um, Yes".

Tom, smiles and says "Great. He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $500 and said he'd stop by our house on his way home this afternoon and pay me back."

His name should be "The Brilliant Dave"! haha

 

[kostasmalina]

Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia on a Mastercard?​

Because his Visa didn't work!

 

[kostasmalina]

What did the judge say after Novak lost his court appeal?​

"Mr. Djokovic has no challenges remaining."

 

[kostasmalina]

Aptronym is a personal name aptly or peculiarly suited to its owner.​

Some famous examples of peoples whose name accurately describes them.
Usain Bolt- Jamaican sprinter.
Margaret Court- Australian tennis player.
Josh Outman- baseball pitcher.
Novak Djokovic - vaccine dodger.

 

[ladonque]

now we know what became of the spooky banjo player from Deliverance:

 

[kostasmalina]

Breaking News:​

In a shock move,The English Cricket Board have announced tennis World No.1 Novak Djokovic as temporary batting coach.

"We acknowledge he doesn't no f*** all about Cricket, but we couldn't overlook the fact it took Australia two weeks to get him out."

 

[BMR Genie]

Not sure if this is a joke or an insult haha

"Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera."

 

[BMR Genie]

"Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police."